After talking with KA ealier tonight, I've realized something: Things have changed. In the last month, I've been visiting a psychologist to improve many things in my life. so far, I've succeeded with work. I'm way more productive than I have ever been. And lately, I felt like I was about to succeed in restoring the broken trust between Kirby Oak and I. But something stuck me: he changed. I'm not talking about his friendship with FD or his college life, but something more fundamental. I've always seen him as someone I could always speak with, no matter the time of the day. And I still saw him online all the time, so I kept that vision of him. But... it is wrong. He might be online, but he made a choice, the choice to, not only be best friend with FD, but to involve himself in activities requiring 100% of his focus, instead of multitasking like he did when he was best friend with me. In that regard, Kirby is not the person I thought could always be there, not anymore. Even if he wanted to do stuff with me, his life is already filled with a lot of commitments and those go first. Like mostly everyone else I know online, he now has a life (read as "having a filled agenda that cannot be moved around", not "having a life outside the computer").
In that context, trying to be friends with him would seem impossible, wouldn't it? How could I be friend with someone with so little time to give to people who aren't his best friend? But, I think that's the point of what I've realized today. My good friend on the Internet, Rougia, is not often available either. She has only two days in the week she doesn't work; the rest of the days, she works at night and sleep right before it and I'm mostly unavailable while I'm work. To make a short story, we probably have 1-2 good occasions every week to truly do things together; the rest of the time we talk, it's kept short. Yet, I consider us to be friends. Contradictory, isn't it? On one hand, I almost instinctively consider Kirby not to be a friend because he is busy and on the other hand, someone who can rarely play with me is considered a friend. I've thought about it in my bed last night, and the answer seemed so simple I almost feel stupid for not thinking about it: It's all a matter of perspective. With Rougia, I have known from the day 1 that she wasn't often available and I've accepted it as being a part of our friendship. With Kirby, I've become used to him always being online and it's hard for me to accept anything less than that.
But... things do change. It's an unavoidable fact of life. I'm the first one to have changed, most ironically. The days I could stay up late and play all night are a thing of the past. Now, I have to go sleep early to have enough energy to go through a whole day while staying mentally productive and creative. On weekends, I have certain tasks to accomplish, because I don't have time to on weekdays. On the top of all that, there are a lot of daily things, such as eating and keeping myself clean, that have to be done. Kirby seek someone friendly he could spend his online time with... and unfortunately, I cannot really fill that role. Friendly, I think I can be now. Available? Nope, that I can't. So I think... that even if FD wasn't around, that Kirb wouldn't find that kind of solution in me. Not someone with a busy life like me. It comes with a price, though. Someone else filled that role and together, they have chosen activities preventing anyone else from even thinking about getting close with any of these two.
In light of all this, is Kirby Oak still my friend: Yes. Not a terrific friend. Not a close friend, not even a real friend, but a friend nonetheless. Because, beyond the facts that we both got a life now, we still have a few shared interests. So long I am nice and go on with my life when things aren't all perfect, I think we can be good friends. I've been wrong all that time. Friendship isn't counted in minutes spent together, in number of RP played or any other superficial parameter. Friendship is about feeling comfortable around another person. I feel comfortable around Rou, around FD, around KA and around Kirby. Those are all my friends. My time with them might be limited... but I wouldn't want it gone for all the money in the world. What makes 10 minutes in a day so wonderful... that's what friendship is. If anyone in the Skype group is reading this... I want to be back home, guys.
Showing posts with label Kirby Oak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kirby Oak. Show all posts
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I dunno if we are really supposed to give thanks on Thanksgiving, but I feel it is appropriate. The list will probably be large and most of those people will never see it, but heh... it's my blog. I do whatever I want on it. In fact, I think I will write things related to my family in French in give them the link, just because I can.
Rougia: Thanks for having been there for me in the last month of so and having listening to some of my whining. I love the RPs we have together when we have time to and generally you're very nice. Yay!
Kirby Oak: Thanks for having been my best friend for 9-10 out of the 12 months since last Thanksgiving. Thanks for the countless hours of RPing. This said, I still haven't forgiven you for your act of betrayal. After all, leaving only because I'm a bit emotional is kinda like ignoring the fact I still wanted to do stuff with you, despite having to put up with your extreme laziness, extreme pickyness, general apatethicness toward a lot of things and a total lack of ability to compromise. Then again, your faults is probably part of why you left, since someone stronger would have not betrayed me like this. Yeah... I'm still sour about that, especially when you call yourself the victim and think of yourself of having been the perfect friend. Well, I will tell you one thing: Rougia might be a lot less available than you were, but she's a much better friend overall. 'nuff said... oh wait, I kinda went away from the topic. Err... thanks for all the fun and all... I miss the RPing... although that's the only thing I miss, so... *shrug and pet Paige, then hide*
FD: Thanks for your great RP ideas and your openness, despite the way I act. You are probably the nicest person I have ever met, even though we don't really have a lot of common liking.
KA: Thanks for listening to my talking from work and my randomness. I'm sure you could be doing much funner things than listening to my childishness.
Sil: Thanks for being nice with me and being some fun to talk to.
Mr. Small: Thanks for being such a cool manager. Heh.
Moman: Merci d'être toujours là quand j'ai besoin d'aide, d'être toujours à l'écoute. Tu est la meilleure mère au monde.
Mylène: Merci d'ètre une soeur cool. Bon, c'est sur que tu passe ton temps a essayer de faire tes jokes et insultes sur moi, mais je sais bien que tu m'aime bien dans le fond. Tu est aussi la seule dans la famille a savoir certain trucs sur moi, donc ça montre a quel point j'ai confience en toi. Continue comme ça, Milou.
Marjorie: Merci de montrer ton amour pour moi. Des fois, tu le montre a peu trop, mais c'est correct, je te pardonne.
Billy et Joey: Bien... vous êtes... hmm... ok.
Lévis: Merci d'être un beau père correct. Tu peu être â l'écoute, des fois. C'est cool. Essait de slacker un peu sur l'alchool. Ça serait encore plus cool.
Princesse: Tu est le meilleur chien de tout les temps. Bon, j'avou que tu a un eu ralentit et que tu ne peut pas comprendre ce que j'écrit, mais c'est pas grave. Je vais quand même te lancer ton jouet la prochaine fois que je viens à la maison.
Grand-moman: Merci d'être la grand moman la plus à l'écoute que je connaisse. Tu est un vrai ange. J'espère que tu va vivre encore 30 ans.
Autre membres de la famille: Merci d'être là.
I think that's all. If I forgot anyone else, thanks anyway. Ciao!
I dunno if we are really supposed to give thanks on Thanksgiving, but I feel it is appropriate. The list will probably be large and most of those people will never see it, but heh... it's my blog. I do whatever I want on it. In fact, I think I will write things related to my family in French in give them the link, just because I can.
Rougia: Thanks for having been there for me in the last month of so and having listening to some of my whining. I love the RPs we have together when we have time to and generally you're very nice. Yay!
Kirby Oak: Thanks for having been my best friend for 9-10 out of the 12 months since last Thanksgiving. Thanks for the countless hours of RPing. This said, I still haven't forgiven you for your act of betrayal. After all, leaving only because I'm a bit emotional is kinda like ignoring the fact I still wanted to do stuff with you, despite having to put up with your extreme laziness, extreme pickyness, general apatethicness toward a lot of things and a total lack of ability to compromise. Then again, your faults is probably part of why you left, since someone stronger would have not betrayed me like this. Yeah... I'm still sour about that, especially when you call yourself the victim and think of yourself of having been the perfect friend. Well, I will tell you one thing: Rougia might be a lot less available than you were, but she's a much better friend overall. 'nuff said... oh wait, I kinda went away from the topic. Err... thanks for all the fun and all... I miss the RPing... although that's the only thing I miss, so... *shrug and pet Paige, then hide*
FD: Thanks for your great RP ideas and your openness, despite the way I act. You are probably the nicest person I have ever met, even though we don't really have a lot of common liking.
KA: Thanks for listening to my talking from work and my randomness. I'm sure you could be doing much funner things than listening to my childishness.
Sil: Thanks for being nice with me and being some fun to talk to.
Mr. Small: Thanks for being such a cool manager. Heh.
Moman: Merci d'être toujours là quand j'ai besoin d'aide, d'être toujours à l'écoute. Tu est la meilleure mère au monde.
Mylène: Merci d'ètre une soeur cool. Bon, c'est sur que tu passe ton temps a essayer de faire tes jokes et insultes sur moi, mais je sais bien que tu m'aime bien dans le fond. Tu est aussi la seule dans la famille a savoir certain trucs sur moi, donc ça montre a quel point j'ai confience en toi. Continue comme ça, Milou.
Marjorie: Merci de montrer ton amour pour moi. Des fois, tu le montre a peu trop, mais c'est correct, je te pardonne.
Billy et Joey: Bien... vous êtes... hmm... ok.
Lévis: Merci d'être un beau père correct. Tu peu être â l'écoute, des fois. C'est cool. Essait de slacker un peu sur l'alchool. Ça serait encore plus cool.
Princesse: Tu est le meilleur chien de tout les temps. Bon, j'avou que tu a un eu ralentit et que tu ne peut pas comprendre ce que j'écrit, mais c'est pas grave. Je vais quand même te lancer ton jouet la prochaine fois que je viens à la maison.
Grand-moman: Merci d'être la grand moman la plus à l'écoute que je connaisse. Tu est un vrai ange. J'espère que tu va vivre encore 30 ans.
Autre membres de la famille: Merci d'être là.
I think that's all. If I forgot anyone else, thanks anyway. Ciao!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Dreams: Reality or fiction?
Hello everyone.
Really strange things happened in the last 12 hours or so. I think the most unexpected happened when I got that e-mail from my manager. As I told you yesterday, this weekend is a long weekend of Thanksgiving. You know how I named my last entry "Long weekend", right? Well, the title of the email was exactly the same. At first, I thought he just wanted to remind me that there is no work Monday, because he never actually did tell me. So, you can imagine my surprise when I read that email and it said that Mr. Small was inviting me to his Thanksgiving dinner tonight with his wive. Since I'm pretty much the only intern working under him, I'm pretty much going to be only young person invited. So, it certainly did feel like a dream to me. I've never have been liked much by any other boss before, for obvious reasons (I suck(ed?) at work), so this is definitely an opportunity I won't want to miss. I kinda thing it's just trying to get to his good side even more, but heck, I think it's cool and nobody is gonna stop me. Except maybe if I wasn't to receive any other email from him. We still have to confirm the rendezvous point where he's going to pick me up.
As for the other part, I had a really weird dream last night. Its weirdness doesn't come from what it was, but who was in it. As some of you know, I've not talked to Kirby Oak for some time now, because I don't want to hurt him with my behavior. So, the last thing I would expect was a dream with him in it, but yet it happened. I'm not quite sure if it was real life or an RP or maybe both, because it's kind of blurry after 30 minutes of being awake, but there was some kind of vacation camp or some beachy or... damn, it's so cloudy now. Anyway I think I received an invitation to go there or something. The thing is, it was some kind of place where normal people ate and played with tiny people and ate and did not nice thing to them. Now, that's pretty common in the kinda RP I usually do, except that Kirby was being very pushy about the vore and liking it a lot, which is like, completely not him at all. He liked the fact there was shrunken people around, but he was very focused on being dominant. I think I was happy in the dream, because I was liking things I like again. Then we were about to really start to play and I woke up.
So it was kinda weird, yeah. I have no idea why I randomly had a dream about someone I didn't speak to in like 2 weeks, but I appreciate it. The RP idea I got, I mean. Hehe. A vacation around micros. That gotta be fun. I'm gonna ask Rou if she wants to play something like that. Yay! That was all I wanted to say, so Ciao everyone!
UPDATE 9:38: Speaking of email, I just received that email I was waiting for. I'm gonna meet him at 5:30PM. So, I guess I will post on the blog after dinner.
Really strange things happened in the last 12 hours or so. I think the most unexpected happened when I got that e-mail from my manager. As I told you yesterday, this weekend is a long weekend of Thanksgiving. You know how I named my last entry "Long weekend", right? Well, the title of the email was exactly the same. At first, I thought he just wanted to remind me that there is no work Monday, because he never actually did tell me. So, you can imagine my surprise when I read that email and it said that Mr. Small was inviting me to his Thanksgiving dinner tonight with his wive. Since I'm pretty much the only intern working under him, I'm pretty much going to be only young person invited. So, it certainly did feel like a dream to me. I've never have been liked much by any other boss before, for obvious reasons (I suck(ed?) at work), so this is definitely an opportunity I won't want to miss. I kinda thing it's just trying to get to his good side even more, but heck, I think it's cool and nobody is gonna stop me. Except maybe if I wasn't to receive any other email from him. We still have to confirm the rendezvous point where he's going to pick me up.
As for the other part, I had a really weird dream last night. Its weirdness doesn't come from what it was, but who was in it. As some of you know, I've not talked to Kirby Oak for some time now, because I don't want to hurt him with my behavior. So, the last thing I would expect was a dream with him in it, but yet it happened. I'm not quite sure if it was real life or an RP or maybe both, because it's kind of blurry after 30 minutes of being awake, but there was some kind of vacation camp or some beachy or... damn, it's so cloudy now. Anyway I think I received an invitation to go there or something. The thing is, it was some kind of place where normal people ate and played with tiny people and ate and did not nice thing to them. Now, that's pretty common in the kinda RP I usually do, except that Kirby was being very pushy about the vore and liking it a lot, which is like, completely not him at all. He liked the fact there was shrunken people around, but he was very focused on being dominant. I think I was happy in the dream, because I was liking things I like again. Then we were about to really start to play and I woke up.
So it was kinda weird, yeah. I have no idea why I randomly had a dream about someone I didn't speak to in like 2 weeks, but I appreciate it. The RP idea I got, I mean. Hehe. A vacation around micros. That gotta be fun. I'm gonna ask Rou if she wants to play something like that. Yay! That was all I wanted to say, so Ciao everyone!
UPDATE 9:38: Speaking of email, I just received that email I was waiting for. I'm gonna meet him at 5:30PM. So, I guess I will post on the blog after dinner.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Long weekend!
Foot note: I think my phone is cursed.
Good news, everyone! Tonight is the start of a long Thanksgiving weekend. I will wait until Monday to give my thanks, though. For now, it's time to think about all the cool things I will have time to do during the long weekend! I will get to buy food, clean my clothes, but things, go to appointments, buy a new laptop, buy more things, RP, more RP playing games, dance, happiness, fun, greatness, calling people, chatting with friends, posting on my blog, writing stuff, sleeping, eating, drinking and going to the bathroom!
Magic: Don't forget hockey! Shot, shot, shot, GOOAAAL!!!
Oh, yeah, and hockey! Long weekend were usually a good occasion to do fun things, like teasing Sarah (read vore and sex) or teasing Kira (read jar and pensil), but those are out of my reach for the time being (read a hell lot of time). Dear not, long weekend, because I have devised a henipus master plan to avoid boredom. Tonight, when people will expect it less, Kagai will jump in the vorum with Miya and Magic on her back, will shrink everything in sight and play with all their new toys!
Magic and Kagai: Yay!
Miya: I won't do that. It's mean toward all those innocent people. I do not do evil.
But... Who will hold the gun?
Miya: It's not my problem. *crosses her paws*
*groan* Oh, Kagai! Miya wanted me to tell you that her psychic energy is an open buffet! Feel free to take as much you want!
Kagai: Really? Yay! It's so tasty! *starts sucking Miya's energy with her dark powers*
Miya: *mews in pain and holds her head* Ow! Ok! Ok! Oww! Make her stop and I... Will do it!
Good, I knew you would see the light. *give Kagai a chew toy and send her away* Then, I think I'm ready for the biggest fun of the weekend! Ciao, everyone!
Disclaimer: No mew were hurt in the making of this post.
Good news, everyone! Tonight is the start of a long Thanksgiving weekend. I will wait until Monday to give my thanks, though. For now, it's time to think about all the cool things I will have time to do during the long weekend! I will get to buy food, clean my clothes, but things, go to appointments, buy a new laptop, buy more things, RP, more RP playing games, dance, happiness, fun, greatness, calling people, chatting with friends, posting on my blog, writing stuff, sleeping, eating, drinking and going to the bathroom!
Magic: Don't forget hockey! Shot, shot, shot, GOOAAAL!!!
Oh, yeah, and hockey! Long weekend were usually a good occasion to do fun things, like teasing Sarah (read vore and sex) or teasing Kira (read jar and pensil), but those are out of my reach for the time being (read a hell lot of time). Dear not, long weekend, because I have devised a henipus master plan to avoid boredom. Tonight, when people will expect it less, Kagai will jump in the vorum with Miya and Magic on her back, will shrink everything in sight and play with all their new toys!
Magic and Kagai: Yay!
Miya: I won't do that. It's mean toward all those innocent people. I do not do evil.
But... Who will hold the gun?
Miya: It's not my problem. *crosses her paws*
*groan* Oh, Kagai! Miya wanted me to tell you that her psychic energy is an open buffet! Feel free to take as much you want!
Kagai: Really? Yay! It's so tasty! *starts sucking Miya's energy with her dark powers*
Miya: *mews in pain and holds her head* Ow! Ok! Ok! Oww! Make her stop and I... Will do it!
Good, I knew you would see the light. *give Kagai a chew toy and send her away* Then, I think I'm ready for the biggest fun of the weekend! Ciao, everyone!
Disclaimer: No mew were hurt in the making of this post.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Avi, Asf, Apple
Hello everyone,
Today, I completed my work with leaning and working with the AVI and ASF audio/video codecs. So, to celebrate this milestone, I will start thinking about how to accomplish my next task...
...ist joking. I will do that tomorrow morning in the bus or later tonight, if I find the time to. I think I deserve a break from annoying thing, don't you agree Sparktail?
Sparktail: *tied up, gagged and trapped in a cage* Mmmmffttt!!!
I thought so. Since Sparktail is usually a mood ruiner, I decided to put him in there for a time put. I think Alpha said something about that, so I should listen. I think. I'm not 100% sure, but then again, Alpha is a very wise and mysterious old man. He gas that airs around him. Like in pokemon, minus the blue. I suspect he might be a mage. Hehe.
So, yeah, I'm in a good mood. A tad tired, but that's because I watched a late hockey game last night and I sure don't regret it. We narrowly lost, but it was an awesome game. Magic couldn't stand still at the edge of her seat, so much it was exciting. The 3rd period was the best.
Magic: Yup! They shot, ran, shot, shot, shot, ran, shot, shot, shot...
...and too bad all that extreme action didn't lead to a goal, explaining why we lost 3-4. It was still awesome, though. *silence* Well, I'm already put of things to say. Hmm... Well, there was a video meeting at lunch time and I ate pizza. I also freed the rest of the Greek eevee from their Canon jail lab and have them a new home. I only took the 24 first ones. Kirby Oak can keep the last 4 ones. They are his original creations afterall.
On that, ciao everyone! *pet Omega*
-DPL
PS: EEVEE!!!
Today, I completed my work with leaning and working with the AVI and ASF audio/video codecs. So, to celebrate this milestone, I will start thinking about how to accomplish my next task...
...ist joking. I will do that tomorrow morning in the bus or later tonight, if I find the time to. I think I deserve a break from annoying thing, don't you agree Sparktail?
Sparktail: *tied up, gagged and trapped in a cage* Mmmmffttt!!!
I thought so. Since Sparktail is usually a mood ruiner, I decided to put him in there for a time put. I think Alpha said something about that, so I should listen. I think. I'm not 100% sure, but then again, Alpha is a very wise and mysterious old man. He gas that airs around him. Like in pokemon, minus the blue. I suspect he might be a mage. Hehe.
So, yeah, I'm in a good mood. A tad tired, but that's because I watched a late hockey game last night and I sure don't regret it. We narrowly lost, but it was an awesome game. Magic couldn't stand still at the edge of her seat, so much it was exciting. The 3rd period was the best.
Magic: Yup! They shot, ran, shot, shot, shot, ran, shot, shot, shot...
...and too bad all that extreme action didn't lead to a goal, explaining why we lost 3-4. It was still awesome, though. *silence* Well, I'm already put of things to say. Hmm... Well, there was a video meeting at lunch time and I ate pizza. I also freed the rest of the Greek eevee from their Canon jail lab and have them a new home. I only took the 24 first ones. Kirby Oak can keep the last 4 ones. They are his original creations afterall.
On that, ciao everyone! *pet Omega*
-DPL
PS: EEVEE!!!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Lack of sleep + Lack of food + Lack of lack of emotions = Somethin' not... fun
*is a half-asleep chibi-espeon submissived by evil umbreon* Hi..ya.
I had stuff to say, tonight, but I forget. It was probably something. Important. Buuuuut... it happens. The pikachu is biting an apple in the tree and the tree is green. Hehe... random thought. SOOOOOOOO.... yeah... I'm tired. Kinda. Like. Very, very... a lot. *sob-laugh mix randomly* Heh... sniff... It's a great day. I enarly... worked today. Nearly. With an N and an y. I wub apples! And meat.
I feel like I'm being away from the topic... whatever is was. Yay, I compelted another sentence. Oh... ueah! I remember. Today, I... epic failed. At work. Because I didn't work a lot, nearly slept and played games on phone... kinda. It was more like stuff. And RPing and a shiny ship, plane, word typing thingy game fun. And RPing.
I like RPing.
Yeah, and about cheese, I think it should taste better sometime. But not that sometime. Other time. Ok. I think I'm starting to write stuff that is not sane. maybe. Peharps. It could be. Who knows? Sparktail? Magic? Kagai? Kai? THE POPE?
I like RPing.
And cheese. And chocolate. And cute. And sex. And RPing cute sex in chocolate in a cheese pot with people eating in it. will try to remember idea. Ok. Now I thin i'm done. Ci-a-o. Ciao. CIAO. CIAO!!!!!!!!
PS: I like RPing.
PPS: Eevee...sized espeon me.
I had stuff to say, tonight, but I forget. It was probably something. Important. Buuuuut... it happens. The pikachu is biting an apple in the tree and the tree is green. Hehe... random thought. SOOOOOOOO.... yeah... I'm tired. Kinda. Like. Very, very... a lot. *sob-laugh mix randomly* Heh... sniff... It's a great day. I enarly... worked today. Nearly. With an N and an y. I wub apples! And meat.
I feel like I'm being away from the topic... whatever is was. Yay, I compelted another sentence. Oh... ueah! I remember. Today, I... epic failed. At work. Because I didn't work a lot, nearly slept and played games on phone... kinda. It was more like stuff. And RPing and a shiny ship, plane, word typing thingy game fun. And RPing.
I like RPing.
Yeah, and about cheese, I think it should taste better sometime. But not that sometime. Other time. Ok. I think I'm starting to write stuff that is not sane. maybe. Peharps. It could be. Who knows? Sparktail? Magic? Kagai? Kai? THE POPE?
I like RPing.
And cheese. And chocolate. And cute. And sex. And RPing cute sex in chocolate in a cheese pot with people eating in it. will try to remember idea. Ok. Now I thin i'm done. Ci-a-o. Ciao. CIAO. CIAO!!!!!!!!
PS: I like RPing.
PPS: Eevee...sized espeon me.
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