Break Day 4: Bro town fun

Hello.

Second entry today, because I won't have time tomorrow morning to post my entry, then I won't have Internet until Sunday morning, so here it comes:

Activity	Success
Do no stressing things	90%: I did a lot of fun things today, others than a few roughs words to "friends", so I guess that's good for a last day home.

Conclusion: Well, it could be worse. Stupid more manual work today and more dust in my lungs. It will all be fine tomorrow, though. Yay.

As for tomorrow, it's gonna be a simple day. Back to Sherbrooke, but not back to Internet-land yet. MSN, maybe, but my phone is kinda dead. Either way, it's gonna be my last break day, so let see how I intend to make it good.

Activity	Reason
Go to bochia with my bro.	Well, I promised and it's gonna be nice sport
Clean myself fully	I would have done so earlier, but we destroyed the bathroom today at home to make it anew later this week.
Make a nice dinner	Good way to celebrate my return to normal life with good food
Do no stressing things	Last day of that thing. Go, 100%!

I'm done. Now time to go play that board game!

Ciao!

Break Day 2: Social Awkwardness

Hello everyone,

Yesterday, I set myself a few winter themed goals. Let see how it went.

Activity	Success
Go showel snow	100%: That was easy
Take a walk in the wild	110%: Not only I did walk, but I stopped at a neightbor's house, did some social, played with snow and had a good reminsing of my childhood. It was nice.
Take a shower and shave	120%: Not only did I do that, but I brushed my teeth, my glasses and other stuff.
Do no stressing things	85%: Again, I wasn't completely able to feel perfectly good. There was one small moment where I worried about school and another one where I worried about the hypothetical situation where I would return on Skype in a few days and find no word of worry about me in the whole logs, which would prove my fears that no one there is a friend and cares about me anymore. I don't wanna have to leave that place, but I will have to if nobody cares. That's a scary thought.

Conclusion: Really great day, except for those small parts with worries. I think that if I keep going this way, I should feel better by the end of the week.

There's a little something that isn't in that list, but did bother me some yesterday. My sister is trying to match me with a girl who's like me, like, small, kinda direct with her thoughts and feeling, who RP and other things like that. The list is long. That's a bit scary, yet also exciting, but mostly just weird. I dunno what will happen on that topic, but it doesn't help me relax.

Anywho, today, I will focus on social activities, like I said yesterday.

Activity	Reason
Help my mom with stuff	Helping others is always nice.
Play a board game with mom	I like board games and I promised her to do that during the holiday vacations and I didn't
Play a non-competitive video game with my siblings	Games are fun. I will have to make sure I don't try to be competitive anyway, though.
Call my bro for his bochia sport thingy	I should have done that a few days ago.
Do no stressing things	Well, that one is a giving by now. I aim for 90%, this time.

That's a nice list of goals. I have no idea what I will do Friday, on my last day home. I guess I will see tomorrow.

Ciao!

The return / Le retour

Hello everyone!

You probably wonder why the title is both in English and French, huh? Well, by blog is taking a new format. From now on, every post will be offered in both languages, so both the people I know online and my family can enjoy it.

This said, my weekend away wasn't so bad. I got some things done, although maybe not as much as I would have wanted to, but still enough. I got some good sleep and I had 3 meals and a shower every day. It felt nice. I brought new gauntlets and a broom, so I coilad really clean my room completely.

That's pretty much all I had to say. Ciao!

----

Salut tout le monde!

A partir de maintenant, mon blog va etre en anglais et en francais pour que ma famille et les personnes qui me connaissent puisse suivre mon blog. Notez que la version Francaise ne sera pas toujours disponible immediatement, parce que mon tel a pas d'accents et n'aime pas le francais, donc taper c'est chiant. La version francaise sera toujours disponible le soir meme, promis.

Ceci dit, ma fin de semaine loin de l'ordi n'a pas ete si pire. J'ai reussi a faire la plupart des choses que je voulais faire. J'ai pas tout fait, mais assez pour me sentir bien. J'ai mange 3 repas par jour et j'ai pris une douche, alors c'est une certaine amelioration. J'ai aussi achete des gants pour l'exterieur et un balai, ce qui m'a permis de faire le menage de fond en combre.

C'est pas mal tout ce que je voulais dire, alors ciao!

-DPL

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I dunno if we are really supposed to give thanks on Thanksgiving, but I feel it is appropriate. The list will probably be large and most of those people will never see it, but heh... it's my blog. I do whatever I want on it. In fact, I think I will write things related to my family in French in give them the link, just because I can.

Rougia: Thanks for having been there for me in the last month of so and having listening to some of my whining. I love the RPs we have together when we have time to and generally you're very nice. Yay!

Kirby Oak: Thanks for having been my best friend for 9-10 out of the 12 months since last Thanksgiving. Thanks for the countless hours of RPing. This said, I still haven't forgiven you for your act of betrayal. After all, leaving only because I'm a bit emotional is kinda like ignoring the fact I still wanted to do stuff with you, despite having to put up with your extreme laziness, extreme pickyness, general apatethicness toward a lot of things and a total lack of ability to compromise. Then again, your faults is probably part of why you left, since someone stronger would have not betrayed me like this. Yeah... I'm still sour about that, especially when you call yourself the victim and think of yourself of having been the perfect friend. Well, I will tell you one thing: Rougia might be a lot less available than you were, but she's a much better friend overall. 'nuff said... oh wait, I kinda went away from the topic. Err... thanks for all the fun and all... I miss the RPing... although that's the only thing I miss, so... *shrug and pet Paige, then hide*

FD: Thanks for your great RP ideas and your openness, despite the way I act. You are probably the nicest person I have ever met, even though we don't really have a lot of common liking.

KA: Thanks for listening to my talking from work and my randomness. I'm sure you could be doing much funner things than listening to my childishness.

Sil: Thanks for being nice with me and being some fun to talk to.

Mr. Small: Thanks for being such a cool manager. Heh.

Moman: Merci d'être toujours là quand j'ai besoin d'aide, d'être toujours à l'écoute. Tu est la meilleure mère au monde.

Mylène: Merci d'ètre une soeur cool. Bon, c'est sur que tu passe ton temps a essayer de faire tes jokes et insultes sur moi, mais je sais bien que tu m'aime bien dans le fond. Tu est aussi la seule dans la famille a savoir certain trucs sur moi, donc ça montre a quel point j'ai confience en toi. Continue comme ça, Milou.

Marjorie: Merci de montrer ton amour pour moi. Des fois, tu le montre a peu trop, mais c'est correct, je te pardonne.

Billy et Joey: Bien... vous êtes... hmm... ok.

Lévis: Merci d'être un beau père correct. Tu peu être â l'écoute, des fois. C'est cool. Essait de slacker un peu sur l'alchool. Ça serait encore plus cool.

Princesse: Tu est le meilleur chien de tout les temps. Bon, j'avou que tu a un eu ralentit et que tu ne peut pas comprendre ce que j'écrit, mais c'est pas grave. Je vais quand même te lancer ton jouet la prochaine fois que je viens à la maison.

Grand-moman: Merci d'être la grand moman la plus à l'écoute que je connaisse. Tu est un vrai ange. J'espère que tu va vivre encore 30 ans.

Autre membres de la famille: Merci d'être là.

I think that's all. If I forgot anyone else, thanks anyway. Ciao!

Depressi-O

Dear blog and non-existany blog readers,

I think I'm officially depressed. That's the conclusion I came to after another day of trying not to cry all day long for any petty reason and the fact I haven't ate beakfast in 3 days. Why should I force myself to do stuff only because they are needed? It's not like it's going to make me any happier. It's not like it's going to give me anything worthy to live for either. If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm also prey to episodic suicidal thoughts. I should forget and let go, yeah right. It's easy to say when you have something or someone to live for. Try doing the same when you're completely down and have only one thought, that thought being letting go of everything to stop the pain. Oh, it would be so liberating.

But... I don't think I will ever do it. I'm way to weak. To weak to resist my emotions, to weak to impose myself in a group, too weak to think properly. Ironic, that I'm also too weak to free myself of my sorrows. I wish I had someone to talk to. I talked to a few people (Thanks for puttingup with me, guys and gals), but no one can help me. Not that they don't try, but I'm also freaking too weak to listen to them! Did I say that I hate myself?

That's why I'm impatient to back home this weekend. I don't care about that convenience wedding any more than my family does, but I do care about talking to both my grandmother and my mom. Talking about depression is never easy, but if I don't do it, I guess I will sink with the ship. I need help. I really do. Before I can even think about being a more positive person, I need to even have some desire to do anything. For now, asking myself to do is propably like asking someone to move the CN Tower with their bare hands.

Bah, ciao, I guess.