Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Monday, February 22, 2010

Past, present and future

Post died. Apparently. Now it's a thing of the past. Too bad. Not rewriting it. Look at the next post for the objectives of this day. The objectives for the day before were all 100% anyway.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The meaning of friendship

After talking with KA ealier tonight, I've realized something: Things have changed. In the last month, I've been visiting a psychologist to improve many things in my life. so far, I've succeeded with work. I'm way more productive than I have ever been. And lately, I felt like I was about to succeed in restoring the broken trust between Kirby Oak and I. But something stuck me: he changed. I'm not talking about his friendship with FD or his college life, but something more fundamental. I've always seen him as someone I could always speak with, no matter the time of the day. And I still saw him online all the time, so I kept that vision of him. But... it is wrong. He might be online, but he made a choice, the choice to, not only be best friend with FD, but to involve himself in activities requiring 100% of his focus, instead of multitasking like he did when he was best friend with me. In that regard, Kirby is not the person I thought could always be there, not anymore. Even if he wanted to do stuff with me, his life is already filled with a lot of commitments and those go first. Like mostly everyone else I know online, he now has a life (read as "having a filled agenda that cannot be moved around", not "having a life outside the computer").

In that context, trying to be friends with him would seem impossible, wouldn't it? How could I be friend with someone with so little time to give to people who aren't his best friend? But, I think that's the point of what I've realized today. My good friend on the Internet, Rougia, is not often available either. She has only two days in the week she doesn't work; the rest of the days, she works at night and sleep right before it and I'm mostly unavailable while I'm work. To make a short story, we probably have 1-2 good occasions every week to truly do things together; the rest of the time we talk, it's kept short. Yet, I consider us to be friends. Contradictory, isn't it? On one hand, I almost instinctively consider Kirby not to be a friend because he is busy and on the other hand, someone who can rarely play with me is considered a friend. I've thought about it in my bed last night, and the answer seemed so simple I almost feel stupid for not thinking about it: It's all a matter of perspective. With Rougia, I have known from the day 1 that she wasn't often available and I've accepted it as being a part of our friendship. With Kirby, I've become used to him always being online and it's hard for me to accept anything less than that.

But... things do change. It's an unavoidable fact of life. I'm the first one to have changed, most ironically. The days I could stay up late and play all night are a thing of the past. Now, I have to go sleep early to have enough energy to go through a whole day while staying mentally productive and creative. On weekends, I have certain tasks to accomplish, because I don't have time to on weekdays. On the top of all that, there are a lot of daily things, such as eating and keeping myself clean, that have to be done. Kirby seek someone friendly he could spend his online time with... and unfortunately, I cannot really fill that role. Friendly, I think I can be now. Available? Nope, that I can't. So I think... that even if FD wasn't around, that Kirb wouldn't find that kind of solution in me. Not someone with a busy life like me. It comes with a price, though. Someone else filled that role and together, they have chosen activities preventing anyone else from even thinking about getting close with any of these two.

In light of all this, is Kirby Oak still my friend: Yes. Not a terrific friend. Not a close friend, not even a real friend, but a friend nonetheless. Because, beyond the facts that we both got a life now, we still have a few shared interests. So long I am nice and go on with my life when things aren't all perfect, I think we can be good friends. I've been wrong all that time. Friendship isn't counted in minutes spent together, in number of RP played or any other superficial parameter. Friendship is about feeling comfortable around another person. I feel comfortable around Rou, around FD, around KA and around Kirby. Those are all my friends. My time with them might be limited... but I wouldn't want it gone for all the money in the world. What makes 10 minutes in a day so wonderful... that's what friendship is. If anyone in the Skype group is reading this... I want to be back home, guys.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Lone week, productive week

Hello everyone.

Tonight is the end of another long week of work, but unlike all the other weeks so far, my manager wasn't there at all. I was alone to do everything I had to do. I thought at first that it would have been too hard, but I did a lot better than expected. This said, this week was also one of change, so it hadn't have the most productive one in every aspect. However, considering that I was alone and that I can't be perfect immediately, I think I've reached a positive and encouraging level of achievement. I've also received my Halloween costume, which, I must admit, kind of seem to be rushed at some places. I guess that's a fair consequence of asking for express delivery. It's good enough for its purpose. I'm a bit disappointed that the ears aren't removable, because the hoodie is very stylish and certainly could be wore on some other days that aren't Halloween. Hopefully, maybe Gramma or mom will find a way to fix that in a few months. For now, I will focus on next week. There's that party Friday, but also work to be done. I will also look for a new laptop tomorrow. It's probably going to be nice. I'm sure. Either way, I blame Jen, as usual. I think I said everything for tonight, so Ciao!

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Salut tout le monde.

Ce soir est la fin d'une autre longue semaine de travail, mais au contraire de toutes les autres semaines jusqu'à présent, mon boss n'était pas là du tout. J'étais tout seul pour faire toute la job. J'ai pensé que ça serait trop difficile, mais finalement, cela à été assez facile et une bonne expérience de vie. Cette semaine a aussi été une semaine de changement, donc ça n'à pas aider à faire de cette semaine la plus productive qui soit. Par contre, puisque j'étais seul et que je ne peux pas être parfait, je crois avoir atteint un bon niveau de positivisme et d'accomplissments. J'ai aussi reçu mon costume d'Halloween, qui, je doit l'avouer, semble un peu botché a certains endroits. Je suppose que c'est une conséquence correcte du fait que j'ai vraiment poussé pour une livraison expresse. On sème ce que l'on récolte. Le costume est assez correct pour ce que je vais en faire. En passant, je suis un peu désapointé que les oreilles peuvent pas être enlevé, parce que le jacket est vraiment cool et pourrait certainement être porté lors de d'autre jours que l'Halloween. Peut-être que grand-moman ou moman pourrait le changer dans quelque mois. Pour l'instant, je vais focuser sur la prochaine semaine. Il y a un party vendredi et du travail doit être fait. Je vais aussi regarder pour un nouveau laptop demain. Ca va etre le fun, je suis sur. Peut-importe, je blame Jen, comme d'habitude. Je crois que j'ai tout dis pour ce soir, alors Ciao!

Monday, October 19, 2009

The return / Le retour

Hello everyone!

You probably wonder why the title is both in English and French, huh? Well, by blog is taking a new format. From now on, every post will be offered in both languages, so both the people I know online and my family can enjoy it.

This said, my weekend away wasn't so bad. I got some things done, although maybe not as much as I would have wanted to, but still enough. I got some good sleep and I had 3 meals and a shower every day. It felt nice. I brought new gauntlets and a broom, so I coilad really clean my room completely.

That's pretty much all I had to say. Ciao!

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Salut tout le monde!

A partir de maintenant, mon blog va etre en anglais et en francais pour que ma famille et les personnes qui me connaissent puisse suivre mon blog. Notez que la version Francaise ne sera pas toujours disponible immediatement, parce que mon tel a pas d'accents et n'aime pas le francais, donc taper c'est chiant. La version francaise sera toujours disponible le soir meme, promis.

Ceci dit, ma fin de semaine loin de l'ordi n'a pas ete si pire. J'ai reussi a faire la plupart des choses que je voulais faire. J'ai pas tout fait, mais assez pour me sentir bien. J'ai mange 3 repas par jour et j'ai pris une douche, alors c'est une certaine amelioration. J'ai aussi achete des gants pour l'exterieur et un balai, ce qui m'a permis de faire le menage de fond en combre.

C'est pas mal tout ce que je voulais dire, alors ciao!

-DPL

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Managing time

Today was a productive day. I've wrote posts, two entries for my Magic story, got my clothes cleaned and sent my work clothes to the dry cleaner. As I said this morning, I also went to dinner with my manager. I've learned a lot of things about him and that was cool. The big thing is that he's not even 30 years old, which is kinda weird. His wife is not canadian and he's a tech geek. So, I think it was kinda cool. The chicken was good, Wii Sport Resort was fun to play and it was all around nice to talk about lotsa things. The not fun part was when nobody talked, because I quickly realized that the three of us were shy people, so those moments ended up like silent, then awkward laugh, the more silence. It was weird. I also didn't appreciate that bad joke about French-Canadians. *grumble* Yes, we celebrate Christmas! What kind of question is that? Seriously! Meh. That was the stupidest question I have ever been asked. Anyway... if I ignore that, it was pretty much good. Overall, it felt like I always thought it would feel lf I had visited Kirby's home. Lotsa fun, some awkwards moments and a tad bit of uncomfortableness. And I didn't even have to go to another country to experience that, just another province. Yup. Now I'm sleepy. Ciao!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Dreams: Reality or fiction?

Hello everyone.

Really strange things happened in the last 12 hours or so. I think the most unexpected happened when I got that e-mail from my manager. As I told you yesterday, this weekend is a long weekend of Thanksgiving. You know how I named my last entry "Long weekend", right? Well, the title of the email was exactly the same. At first, I thought he just wanted to remind me that there is no work Monday, because he never actually did tell me. So, you can imagine my surprise when I read that email and it said that Mr. Small was inviting me to his Thanksgiving dinner tonight with his wive. Since I'm pretty much the only intern working under him, I'm pretty much going to be only young person invited. So, it certainly did feel like a dream to me. I've never have been liked much by any other boss before, for obvious reasons (I suck(ed?) at work), so this is definitely an opportunity I won't want to miss. I kinda thing it's just trying to get to his good side even more, but heck, I think it's cool and nobody is gonna stop me. Except maybe if I wasn't to receive any other email from him. We still have to confirm the rendezvous point where he's going to pick me up.

As for the other part, I had a really weird dream last night. Its weirdness doesn't come from what it was, but who was in it. As some of you know, I've not talked to Kirby Oak for some time now, because I don't want to hurt him with my behavior. So, the last thing I would expect was a dream with him in it, but yet it happened. I'm not quite sure if it was real life or an RP or maybe both, because it's kind of blurry after 30 minutes of being awake, but there was some kind of vacation camp or some beachy or... damn, it's so cloudy now. Anyway I think I received an invitation to go there or something. The thing is, it was some kind of place where normal people ate and played with tiny people and ate and did not nice thing to them. Now, that's pretty common in the kinda RP I usually do, except that Kirby was being very pushy about the vore and liking it a lot, which is like, completely not him at all. He liked the fact there was shrunken people around, but he was very focused on being dominant. I think I was happy in the dream, because I was liking things I like again. Then we were about to really start to play and I woke up.

So it was kinda weird, yeah. I have no idea why I randomly had a dream about someone I didn't speak to in like 2 weeks, but I appreciate it. The RP idea I got, I mean. Hehe. A vacation around micros. That gotta be fun. I'm gonna ask Rou if she wants to play something like that. Yay! That was all I wanted to say, so Ciao everyone!

UPDATE 9:38: Speaking of email, I just received that email I was waiting for. I'm gonna meet him at 5:30PM. So, I guess I will post on the blog after dinner.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Avi, Asf, Apple

Hello everyone,

Today, I completed my work with leaning and working with the AVI and ASF audio/video codecs. So, to celebrate this milestone, I will start thinking about how to accomplish my next task...

...ist joking. I will do that tomorrow morning in the bus or later tonight, if I find the time to. I think I deserve a break from annoying thing, don't you agree Sparktail?

Sparktail: *tied up, gagged and trapped in a cage* Mmmmffttt!!!

I thought so. Since Sparktail is usually a mood ruiner, I decided to put him in there for a time put. I think Alpha said something about that, so I should listen. I think. I'm not 100% sure, but then again, Alpha is a very wise and mysterious old man. He gas that airs around him. Like in pokemon, minus the blue. I suspect he might be a mage. Hehe.

So, yeah, I'm in a good mood. A tad tired, but that's because I watched a late hockey game last night and I sure don't regret it. We narrowly lost, but it was an awesome game. Magic couldn't stand still at the edge of her seat, so much it was exciting. The 3rd period was the best.

Magic: Yup! They shot, ran, shot, shot, shot, ran, shot, shot, shot...

...and too bad all that extreme action didn't lead to a goal, explaining why we lost 3-4. It was still awesome, though. *silence* Well, I'm already put of things to say. Hmm... Well, there was a video meeting at lunch time and I ate pizza. I also freed the rest of the Greek eevee from their Canon jail lab and have them a new home. I only took the 24 first ones. Kirby Oak can keep the last 4 ones. They are his original creations afterall.

On that, ciao everyone! *pet Omega*

-DPL

PS: EEVEE!!!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Alpha and Omega

"Do you really want to ignore the pains that could done to you, because the truth could be scary? Imagine yourself at age 65. Imagine all those years of living in the unknown and the fear, of asking yourself every day if you will live to see tomorrow. Do you have any idea of how sad and horrifying of a life that would be?"

Yes I do. And no, I'm not going to let that happen to me. I won't let the unknown destroy my soul. I will fight! I will know, even if the answer could entrail my demise. I won't hide anymore. Thanks Alpha. You are the best person named after a Greek alphabet letter ever.

Omega: *looks very sad*

Aww... Don't take it like this. You are still the best eevee named after a letter of the Greek alphabet. You're awesome. *pets her*

Omega: *smiles and relaxes* Thanks...

No problem. I feel good tonight. I feel free. But I also feel sleepy. I'm up at 5 tomorrow morning. So, ciao.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Light

Hello,

I've received a phone call this afternoon. I will meet my psycho-person tomorrow, after work, at 6:30PM. I think it is great that things go so fast, since it means I will start feeling better sooner, which is critical for the success of my internship.

Magic: Yay! Happiness!

Not really, Magic. Just ness, no happy yet. I'm still feeling very down, but I have something to look forward to, at least.

Magic: *looks confused* Yay?

Err, yeah, yay.

Magic: Yay! *climbs onto my head and hug it*

*pet Magic* I hope I can feel happy like you, one day... *look at non-existany reader* Oh, yeah... Ciao.