Thursday, October 1, 2009
Depressi-O: Update
*sigh* Well, I gathered the courage to talk about my depression to my manager. He referred me to an association how mental problems that my company is subscribed to. After a rather difficult phone call, I've got meeting sessions with a professional psycho person, paid by the company, which should help me over a few meetings and the prescription of the appropriate drugs, to make me less mentally deranged. Let's hope this one is the right one. I would love to be free of the heavy dependance to others to find happiness, which coupled with my personality, makes dangerous in bad times.
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But EVERYONE is dependent on others for a large part of their happiness. It's human.
Well, then I want to change the way I do that... I dunno... I feel stuff... I don't wanna feel stuff... and apparently, it's possible to change the way I interact with others to make it a symbiotic experience rather than a parasitic steal. Also, there are ways to diversity the relationships to make sure that I'm not dependent on one source of happiness. And in all technicality, I'm not... but my mind says something different and I feel sad. And depressed... and... well... I filled out that self-evaluation test today at work after I talked to my manager and it said I suffered from symptoms of heavy depression and needed mental care immediately. I don't have trouble believing that.
Hey, well, I'm on a waiting list too.
I'm not on a waiting list... it's all paid with my job and I got my first meeting tomorrow... you could say I was on a waiting list from 11:30AM to 3:30PM, though.
Well I didn't mean literally.
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