Bus Time, part 1

I'm gonna update this entry a few times today, as I will narrate my incredible bus adventure, also called boring hell.

6:15AM: Got into the bus going to Ottawa. I can see two people in the bus, including me, so it's safe to say that my stuff is safe. It would be interesting to note that I didn't get one second of sleep last night. This trip will test my ability to sleep in a moving vehicle.

7:10AM: Am in the bus to Montral. Nap time. Hopefully, that goes well.

9:20AM: Arrived in Montreal and now in the bus going to Sherbrooke. Home sweet home, I'm coming... In 3 hours 45 minutes... Heh.

1:40PM: Finally arrived at Sherbrooke. Those last 4 hours flew past me thanks to Rou. "Me" and I truly appreciate what you did this morning. You could have gone to sleep, yet you stayed, turning a boring trip into a pleasurable experience. You're awesome, Rou! On a related note, I also worked on Miya's character sheet. Only her mage specific stuff and merits to choose and I'm done.

This conclude this 7 hours bus trip. Stay tuned tomorrow for the trip back to Ottawa. Ciao! *go wedding*

Alpha and Omega

"Do you really want to ignore the pains that could done to you, because the truth could be scary? Imagine yourself at age 65. Imagine all those years of living in the unknown and the fear, of asking yourself every day if you will live to see tomorrow. Do you have any idea of how sad and horrifying of a life that would be?"

Yes I do. And no, I'm not going to let that happen to me. I won't let the unknown destroy my soul. I will fight! I will know, even if the answer could entrail my demise. I won't hide anymore. Thanks Alpha. You are the best person named after a Greek alphabet letter ever.

Omega: *looks very sad*

Aww... Don't take it like this. You are still the best eevee named after a letter of the Greek alphabet. You're awesome. *pets her*

Omega: *smiles and relaxes* Thanks...

No problem. I feel good tonight. I feel free. But I also feel sleepy. I'm up at 5 tomorrow morning. So, ciao.

Computer break

My day was rudely interrupted by my zompiter blewinh up. The good news is that it is no longer blown up this morning, but data was lost and many things don't work, including internet. My computer called it an hardware failure, so we all know which piece is guilty of the crime *glare at the hard drive*. So, I will try to save some data and look for a better laptop...

And no, I'm not even in the mood for character play. Ciao.

...

My laptop just blew up.

I am angry.

I want sad.

I want destroy.

Argh.

[End of phone tensmission. CIAO]

Light

Hello,

I've received a phone call this afternoon. I will meet my psycho-person tomorrow, after work, at 6:30PM. I think it is great that things go so fast, since it means I will start feeling better sooner, which is critical for the success of my internship.

Magic: Yay! Happiness!

Not really, Magic. Just ness, no happy yet. I'm still feeling very down, but I have something to look forward to, at least.

Magic: *looks confused* Yay?

Err, yeah, yay.

Magic: Yay! *climbs onto my head and hug it*

*pet Magic* I hope I can feel happy like you, one day... *look at non-existany reader* Oh, yeah... Ciao.

Depressi-O: Update

*sigh* Well, I gathered the courage to talk about my depression to my manager. He referred me to an association how mental problems that my company is subscribed to. After a rather difficult phone call, I've got meeting sessions with a professional psycho person, paid by the company, which should help me over a few meetings and the prescription of the appropriate drugs, to make me less mentally deranged. Let's hope this one is the right one. I would love to be free of the heavy dependance to others to find happiness, which coupled with my personality, makes dangerous in bad times.

Depressi-O

Dear blog and non-existany blog readers,

I think I'm officially depressed. That's the conclusion I came to after another day of trying not to cry all day long for any petty reason and the fact I haven't ate beakfast in 3 days. Why should I force myself to do stuff only because they are needed? It's not like it's going to make me any happier. It's not like it's going to give me anything worthy to live for either. If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm also prey to episodic suicidal thoughts. I should forget and let go, yeah right. It's easy to say when you have something or someone to live for. Try doing the same when you're completely down and have only one thought, that thought being letting go of everything to stop the pain. Oh, it would be so liberating.

But... I don't think I will ever do it. I'm way to weak. To weak to resist my emotions, to weak to impose myself in a group, too weak to think properly. Ironic, that I'm also too weak to free myself of my sorrows. I wish I had someone to talk to. I talked to a few people (Thanks for puttingup with me, guys and gals), but no one can help me. Not that they don't try, but I'm also freaking too weak to listen to them! Did I say that I hate myself?

That's why I'm impatient to back home this weekend. I don't care about that convenience wedding any more than my family does, but I do care about talking to both my grandmother and my mom. Talking about depression is never easy, but if I don't do it, I guess I will sink with the ship. I need help. I really do. Before I can even think about being a more positive person, I need to even have some desire to do anything. For now, asking myself to do is propably like asking someone to move the CN Tower with their bare hands.

Bah, ciao, I guess.